Facts About Digital Abuse You Need to Know
6 Tech Tips for a Healthy Relationship
Have you ever had someone text you repeatedly because you took too long to respond? Have you ever been the recipient of nudist or depraved photos without asking for them? Or perhaps someone has asked for access to your phone and social media accounts or your passcode. These actions are unacceptable and constitute digital abuse.
Digital abuse is a very common occurrence. In actuality, 1 in 4 dating teens experience online harassment. Digital abuse is very prevalent. In fact, 1 in 4 dating teens experience technological harassment.
Abuse online is very common. In actuality, 1 in 4 dating teens experience technological harassment. 1 Anyone can engage in digital abuse, including a romantic interest, a friend, or an acquaintance. In a world where technology permeates every aspect of our lives, it’s critical to comprehend the different types of abuse that can occur both online and offline.
1. Have a discussion about comfort levels.
People’s comfort levels with regard to how frequently they prefer to communicate vary. Talk to your partner about the social media and texting habits you both find acceptable or unacceptable. In a healthy relationship, your partner will be considerate of your feelings and the level of contact will feel mutual; however, in a dysfunctional relationship, your partner may be more demanding and disregard your feelings or level of comfort on this topic.
2. Find a happy medium together.
It’s great if two people want to text each other nonstop and both find it enjoyable. If two people don’t discuss healthy boundaries or if one person thinks they can text all the time without regard to what the other person wants, it becomes unhealthy. Both parties in a healthy relationship are equally concerned with each other’s comfort. The frequency of your communications should be decided upon mutually.
3. Information on your whereabouts is not “owed.”
You may be in an unhealthy, abusive relationship if you feel that someone is constantly checking up on you, forbidding you from going somewhere, or acting as though you “owe” them information about what you are doing or why. People feel free and unconstrained in healthy relationships and are not required to report to their partners.
4. Healthy relationships have boundaries.
Someone does not have the right to search through your phone or know what you are doing at all times just because you might be dating them. It’s unhealthy and abusive to browse your partner’s phone or social media without their consent. You and your partner will trust one another and respect one another’s boundaries if your relationship is healthy.
5. The internet is forever.
Don’t feel pressured to share your naked or suggestive photos of yourself if someone asks. This is not a safe thing to do, even if you trust your partner or know they will delete the pictures right away, because once a picture is taken, it never truly vanishes—not even on Snapchat! Sharing images like these can lead to an unfavorable imbalance of power in your relationship. Once someone has explicit pictures of you, they can use them against you as leverage or as a form of blackmail.
6. Guilt-tripping isn’t good.
They don’t respect your decisions and are not someone you should date if they make you feel guilty for not giving them your passcode, giving them sexu al photos, or doing anything else you feel uncomfortable with. Abuse involves repeatedly pressuring someone to do something they do not want to do and putting them under duress. Your partner will never try to pressure you into doing something you are not completely comfortable with in a healthy relationship.
Behaviors of Digital Abuse
Abuse online has many of the same behaviors as abuse offline. Digital abuse is…
- Coercive. When someone pressures or harasses you to do things that you are not comfortable doing, including sexual acts or favors.
- Controlling. When someone is dominating and attempts to control or gain power over you.
- Degrading. When someone belittles and devalues you.
- Embarrassing. When someone threatens to share embarrassing information about you, or posts personal or intimate information in public places.
Examples of Digital Abuse
- Using your social media account without permission or demanding access to your phone
- Sending you unwanted sexual photos and messages, or sexting you without you consenting to it first
- Sending you so many messages or liking so many of your photos and posts that it makes you uncomfortable
- Making you feel afraid when you do not respond to calls or texts
- Looking through your phone frequently to check in on your texting and phone call history
- Spreading rumors about you online or through texts
- Creating a profile page about you without your permission
- Posting embarrassing photos or information about you online
- Using information from your online profile to harass you
- Writing nasty things about you on their profile page or anywhere online
- Sending threatening text messages, DMs, or chats
- Pressuring and threatening you to send sexual photos of yourself, or making you feel inferior if you don’t comply
- Taking a video of you and sending it to anyone else without your permission
- Telling you who you can or can’t be friends with or what posts you can or can’t like on social media